From the beginning I knew there was something different about not just you, but how WE were together. It sounds cliché, but I don't know any other way to explain it. I often wonder if you think about us like I do; I may never know, but I think you do...
I still laugh at how we even began our journey, but it was one of those weird cataclysmic situations and the stars lined up right... We hit it off from the very beginning, could talk about anything & everything, for hours on end... I felt wanted, and respected... I felt like I was a part of your life... Most importantly, I felt as if I was your friend...
Location, location, location...
Donald Trump isn't the only person benefiting from this concept. As perfect as things seemed to be, the one thing that drove a huge wedge between us was our location... in two different cities, schools, lifestyles... I honestly believe that if we were in the same city, things would be different... However, I digress. We make our decisions, and we know what we can and cannot tolerate... Then you broke my heart; ok I'm being dramatic, but I'm not gonna front, I was out for the count for a while. When we ended, it caught me by surprise. I was surprised by it being over, and how hard it hit me. I had become so comfortable with you that us not working out simply never crossed my mind... that and the fact that we had only been talking for two months and there was no indication that shyt wasn't good... I knew I had to really have cared for you when even after you hurt me, less than 48hrs later I was consoling you and there for you during one of the most difficult times of your life... I didn't realize it then, but I did it because I loved you... Over the years we have had some chance encounters, going from my desperate attempts to see you (I'm okay with admitting it now), to awkwardly tense moments, to happy to see a true friend. If I see you now, I am genuinely happy... There are still times when I wonder, but I am very happy the way things are and I am not sure if I want to jeopardize it...
I am happy you are in my life, even if it never amounts to more than it is now... I will admit though, and I am not embarrassed or ashamed, that if you expressed a desire to try again, I would take it into serious consideration (unless my heart is taken)... After an unexpected phone call, I found myself thinking about old times, stealing thoughts of "I wonder"...but most importantly, I felt a soft, gentle wave of happiness... & I am smiling from the inside out... content and more than satisfied that we have evolved into a true genuine friendship...
Simply put... I love you...
No comments:
Post a Comment